THE JOURNEY: This is going to sound a little more unusual than my normal writing even for me. I am sitting here looking at my clothes closet, and realizing my life has changed since Barb died without realizing it. When Barb was alive we each had half the closet and I admit that my half often crossed over into hers. I don't think that either one of us was really into clothes especially Barb. She never was good at buying things for herself. Most of her effort went into providing for the kids and I. So most of the time we were fairly satisfied with sharing the closet. Here is my dilemma. Looking at this same space now, I have completely taken over the entire closet with my world. I do not understand how that is possible. It is not like I go out and buy stuff all the time. I hate shopping. So either my stuff is growing or something else is going on. I have to believe this is a metaphor for my life in moving away from Barbs death through recovery and coming into my own identity. This space was us and now it is me and honestly I don't think I like that very much. I know the goal is to move on but I think my solution is to go clean out my closet. I hope that it also means that when we start seeing the little changes in our lives that we hadn't noticed before, that it is a sign that you are ready. Ready to notice, ready to receive, ready to interpret and unfortunately or not, ready to move in a new direction that will require a huge amount of bravery.


SOFTLY


SINGING SOFTLY
UNDER MY BREATH
MEANS PEACE
HAS ENTERED MY SOUL

CRYING LOUDLY
COMES NO MORE
TO SHARE THE SPACES OF GRIEF

REALIZING THINGS HAVE CHANGED
IS A MAJOR EVENT
NOT TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY

ONLY WHEN YOU NOTICE
THE SUBTLE CHANGES
CAN YOU GO TO THE NEXT LEVEL
WITHIN THE SAFETY OF YOUR OWN MIND