THE JOURNEY: "Be you dust or be you stone, to be what you must just reach out for what you are-Yusef(Cat Stevens)
What is bravery and how would you define it? I recently completed reading my friends journal about the long process of death of her husband Jim. Lynn St Georges wrote about the trials, tribulations and love of her husband during his illness and ultimate death. It is full of poignant memories that bring out all the human traits of care giving. So much truth is hard to read sometimes but care giving is such an all consuming environment to be in that it takes a special person to enter that world. What I envisioned by reading this heartfelt journal was a very brave individual who took on a role that no one should have to endure. Out of love for the dying we sometimes go beyond what would normally be our comfort level and achieve what can only be considered to be super human. I'm pretty sure that Lynn would not consider herself to be brave. But being the one looking in from the outside, her story as well as may others in the same position have to be considered the ultimate act of bravery. You take on a role that can be so painful and demeaning that it is like a gunfight in the old west. Both parties are brave and most of those watching would not do it. My sister in law Judy took the same role on in taking care of my brother during his illness. Until this very moment, I don't think I adequately thanked Judy for all the care and love she showed my brother during his death journey. The rest of us that have not gone through the care giver story can't possibly begin to understand that day to day existence. We only look from the outside and don't know or don't want to know what is really going on. So for all the care givers of the world, you rock.


YOUR TRIED TO TELL ME

YOU TRIED TO TELL ME
I WOULDN'T LISTEN
YOUR PAIN MIXED WITH YOUR DIEING SPIRIT

YOU TRIED TO TELL ME
I WOULDN'T HEAR
YOU THOUGHT WE WOULD BE BETTER WITHOUT YOU

YOU TRIED TO TELL ME
I WOULDN'T SEE
YOUR BODY DECREASING IN ENERGY SHOWING IN THE PHOTOS

TELL ME NOW, I WILL LISTEN
TELL ME NOW, I WILL HEAR
TELL ME NOW, I WILL SEE

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE
TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY
IT'S NEVER TO LATE TO CARE


In a recent posting I invited folks to write about the special person in their life. I would post it in a separate section on this blog and send it out into the ether. This would be symbolic of their story never ending and a way to share them with the rest of the universe. The following is the first of those stories.

JIM TIFFINS STORY-Saturday, April 4, 2009

I want those who aren't family or close friends to know a little more about Jim so you can know the man as he was before this time.
Besides being my husband, Jim also is Amber's father and the youngest of four children with three older sisters. Before becoming too sick to work 4 years ago this month, Jim was a machinist his entire career(since 18 years old, learning under his father). Jim was very good at what he did and had an amazing work ethic. His work ethic was one of the things that drew me to him, though it did get in the way some times;e.g.,when were preparing to go on vacation, I'd always ask him to try to be home on time or even a little early to help me and he always was 2 hours late. "I had to tie up loose ends," he'd say, and I'd remind him he punched a clock and nobody else would do that and he said it just wasn't his way.
Jim and I met June 7, 1979, a date that we disputed over until I googled the day of the week that we met and I was right. I was working late at a jewelry shop, which was owned by some of his friends. He stopped by with Amber on his hip, this 22-month old, and I mentioned the group working late was meeting at my house after work and to join us. He said he'd take Amber home and then stop by.
Jim came by my house and around midnight was the last person there. We were listening to music when he asked "do you have any Joni Mitchell?" and my heart was his and that's where he stayed. We've been inseparable ever since. When I mention our meeting story to him he always smiles and says the Joni Mitchell line worked every time, but I'm pretty sure he's only teasing me and though he's never said for certain, I like to believe he only said those words to me.
Jim and I have had a good life together. We have traveled,and we partook in the American Dream. It wasn't his body that caused him to first file for disability, but his mind...the decline in cognition had begun 4 years ago and working became too hard for him.
Jim is a kind, sensitive soft-spoken man. He is a quiet man who is modest and reserved. He can be quick to anger but forgives and forgets easily. He is gentle with animals and children and smiles so sweetly at little girls. We have had a good life these last nearly 30 years, with all the highs and lows that go with a long-term relationship...days we wanted to kill each other and days we quite literally hurt from how much we loved each other.-Lynn St Georges_

JIM TIFFIN DIED SEPTEMBER 2, 2009