THE JOURNEY:In the early days following Barbs death simple things like walking were difficult. I tried walking around one block and could hardly move my legs. My mind was trying really hard to take one step at a time but my body wasn't reacting. I believe that there is a very powerful disconnect of your senses and body from your mind in these times, and I am not sure if it is protective or destructive.


THE COMPASS

THE COMPASS GUIDES US WHERE WE NEED TO GO
THE COMPASS SAVES US FROM GETTING LOST
THE COMPASS BRINGS US BACK TO WHERE WE STARTED

ALL DIRECTIONS LEAD TO YOU
WITH THE COMPASSES HELP THE JOURNEY IS EASY
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHICH DIRECTION YOU GO
YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ABLE TO FIND YOUR WAY

WITHOUT THE COMPASS
I WILL GET LOST
MY LIFE WILL BECOME FOGGY
MY MEANING WILL DISAPPEAR

YOU ARE MY COMPASS
YOU RIGHT ME WHEN I AM WRONG
YOU LEAD ME WHERE I NEED TO GO
YOU SAVE ME FROM MYSELF

NO MATTER WHAT DIRECTION I GO
WHETHER IT IS EAST, WEST, NORTH, OR SOUTH
I KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE WITH ME
AND FOREVER BE MY COMPASS

THE JOURNEY : When Barb died, it was like a light went out. I remember feeling like every cell in my body was drained of energy. Lifeless, non-emotional, cold, and hopeless. The only thing I can compare it to is the marionette puppet hanging in my closet as a kid. The form was there but nothing was working.

YOU ARE

YOU ARE MY LIGHT
YOU ARE MY SOUL
YOU ARE ME

YOU ARE RIGHT
YOU ARE WRONG
YOU ARE ME

YOU ARE LOVE
YOU ARE FEAR
YOU ARE ME

YOU ARE EVERTHING
YOU ARE NOTHING
YOU ARE ME


YOU ARE MY LIGHT
YOU ARE MY SOUL
YOU ARE ME

Inspiration comes in many forms. You may be inspired to take a walk, build a backyard memorial or write something. In my case it was inspiration that allowed me to do all the above. My wife is my inspiration, even though she died January 29, 2009. Her name is Barbara and she was my compass during our marriage and is still after her death.
After she died I was inspired to write poetry. Now I'm sure that this has happened to other people but if you knew me it would come as a total surprise. I'm going to be honest. I grew up not liking or reading poetry. So me writing poetry can be considered to be a cosmic joke. I believe it is Barb's way to get me to think outside of my comfort zone and to help me get ready to do other things. I have never studied how to put them together, what is proper, or whether they are even remotely worth reading. What I can promise is that they were all given to me with love, and intention. The verses or titles flash into my mind and d0n't let go until I write them down. Once I do write them down then I typically forget them. I don't even remember them an hour later. I know that they are coming from a source outside of myself. I find this to be extremely comforting or scary depending on how you want to view it. I will post one a week and see how it goes. If you relate to my words that's great. If not, I understand. The hope is that it will bring comfort where needed and most of all show that love crosses all boundaries. Be open, be loved and know that you are not alone.

INSPIRED

SHE LIT UP MY WORLD
DIRECTED MY DREAMS
AND GAVE ME LOVE EVEN
IF I DIDN'T DESERVE IT

SHE CAME IN PEACE
AND DIED WITH LOVE
SENDING US ALL ON PATHS OF OUR OWN

SHE GAVE TO EVERYONE
SERVING FIRST
RECEIVING LATER

THE BEAM OF LIGHT THAT SHE IS NOW
WILL CHANGE THE WORLD
FOR THE BETTER