THE JOURNEY: If you remember me writing last year how hard the holidays were, you would probably remember that my impression was that I would have been happy to not go through a holiday again. I mean, come on. Why would any of us want to subject ourselves to that kind of pain intentionally. So as the holidays approached, I anticipated trouble. It is not like we are waiting for it. The emotions are like someone peeking around the corner at you. They sneak up when you least expect it and remind you things that you hoped would hide a little longer. But it has now been almost two years and even though there is some angst, sadness, a little anger etc, there is also a sense of peace, and a knowing. The knowing is about understanding that when I first started writing this blog, I didn't care if anyone was reading. That wasn't what it was about. It was all about putting feelings to paper and finding out that it helped me in healing and taking one step at a time forward. As time went on I realized that folks were reading the blog and it took on some form of responsibility. Hearing from people that voiced their similar experiences made me realize that we aren't alone even if we think we are. Again thanks to you, healing continued for me in knowing that touching other people through writing was my avenue of rising out of the ashes. Finally, knowing that the holidays are gentler now because of the journey I've taken, makes me want to thank all of you for listening and caring and being part of the healing team. If the book form of this is one day published I hope that we can continue to help others heal through our combined experiences. Thank you all for your friendship, love and input into this humble soul. Happy Holidays




PAST AND FUTURE



SWINGING BETWEEN PAST AND FUTURE
CAN SOMETIMES EFFECT YOUR EQUILIBRIUM
FOCUSING ON ONE ONLY
CAN EFFECT YOUR WHOLENESS

BEING WITHIN BOTH
DOES REQUIRE THE FOCUS
TO GRASP THAT LIFE IS NOT
MADE UP OF ONE OR THE OTHER

YOU CAN BE IN THE PAST AND THE FUTURE
ALLOWING BOTH TO GUIDE YOU
ON THE ROAD TO DISCOVERY

THE JOURNEY: Forty years from now I want to look you in the eyes and say "thank you for the journey". Sometimes I truly wonder what I'm going to write about. So, I will occasionally throw the question out to the universe and see what happens. That is the interesting thing about inspired thought. You never know when it is going to hit you and who might be sending you the message. So, that line came to me with intention and full body goose bumps. That is when I pay attention. The statement seems simple enough on the surface, but of course there always seems to be double meanings in these inspirational pulses that arrive unexpectedly. Being the reporter type, I decided to analyze it. It could mean that when it is my time to go, I get to look Barbara in the face and thank her for saving my butt, hooking me up with incredible friends of the past and future and for telling me to wake up and pay attention to the incredible opportunities that I got to participate in. It could mean thanking my second life love for the patience of seeing the journey through with me. I would be overwhelmingly humbled to think that I was able to be connected to two beautiful souls and live such a profound and rewarding life that included such great kids that allowed me to be their father. Of course I am just ad-libbing here but I get the sense that what I'm suppose to say is that if you have lost someone in your life, you need to be told that it is OK to plan for the future. You survived for a reason and to be able to honor your past and your future with thanksgiving is what you need to give yourself as a present.




EAGLE


I HEARD THE EAGLE FROM A DISTANCE
NEVER SEEING ITS FLIGHT
TO SWOOP OVER THE RIVER
RETRIEVING FISH FOR ITS FAMILY

FAITH IN KNOWING THE EAGLE IS THERE
IS ENOUGH FOR THE MOMENT
REALIZING I DON'T NEED TO SEE THINGS
TO BELIEVE OF THEIR EXISTENCE

WITHOUT FAITH
THERE IS THE NEED FOR PROOF
IMAGINATION ONLY REQUIRES
THE FAITH TO BELIEVE SO HARD
THAT YOU KNOW ITS EXISTENCE IS REAL

THEY JOURNEY: All I wanted was clam chowder. I'll get back to that in a minute. Turning points in ones life can take many forms. You can have an experience that is so profound that you will never look at things the same way. You can get angry at your deceased spouse and get a response that tells you she is listening. You can have love in your life that surprises you because you weren't sure that you would feel it again. Or you could go looking for clam chowder on the Oregon coast and not find it anywhere. You keep driving in the pitch black and pouring rain not really understanding why you are doing it. You end up at a state park with no name and as you enter the parking lot, you realize that you have entered some sort of calm in the storm. There is no rain and the sky is so clear that the stars are the most brilliant jewels in the sky you have ever seen. Venus is like a glowing orb and the big dipper is so bright as it hangs low on the horizon. It actually feels like you can reach out and touch it. You hear the breeze and the surf as one source of sound like a steady and strong heartbeat. Turning points to me are ones that take you away from your planned goal and lead you to an unexpected and profound emotional and spiritual uplift. It is your choice as to whether you pay attention. I am guessing experiences like this don't happen every day. It's funny, I noticed clam chowder everywhere the next day on the way home. Well isn't that interesting!





SYNCHRONICITY


ONE THING HAPPENS
ANOTHER COMES ALONG
WITHOUT MUCH THOUGHT
THEY BOTH TIE TOGETHER

THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON
NOT BY CHANCE
THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES
IF YOU JUST RELAX AND LOOK

PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT'S HAPPENING
AROUND AND THROUGH YOU
DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU
THAT SYNCHRONICITY IS A DREAM

THE JOURNEY: Where did all these colors come from? The light, the warmth of the sun, the wind in the trees. Trust me, I've seen fall colors before. I have see light come through the trees and watched the wind gently sway the branches. That is not what I'm talking about. The only way I can describe what is going on with my senses is to guess what birth would be like. Coming out would have to be brilliant in color, sound, etc. If you could speak I would think it would be one of those wow moments. I think the term of being reborn has been over used but it really does describe the sights, sounds, and feelings when you suddenly find that enough time has transpired to be able to step into the world that has been there the whole time you have been gone. I really do like wow moments and always find them fascinating and beyond my normal words of explanation. To feel alive with purpose and intention is not something that I thought would be possible again, but I realize that profound moments are Gods way of saying "wake up". Gotta go, I have a rainbow to chase.





TRANSFORMATION



FORMED BY GRIEF
HEALED BY LOVE
TRANSFORMED BY SPIRIT

WRITTEN WITHOUT WRITING
SPOKEN WITHOUT SPEAKING
FELT WITHOUT FEELINGS
KNOWN WITHOUT KNOWING

TRANSFORMATION BY DIVINE LOVE
INTO SECOND LIFE
YOU'RE NEVER ALONE
REACH OUT AND WRITE, SPEAK, FEEL AND KNOW