THE JOURNEY: If you could carry on a conversation with GOD, what would you say or ask? As I was sitting and watching a lacrosse game and seeing the sun hide in and out of the clouds, the thought of GOD calling me on my cell phone crossed my mind. And before you ask , no I don't sit around all day and think of these things. They just pop in unannounced seeing if I am going to react to them. Well, the visual alone of GOD calling on my cell phone was priceless. OK, so I'll play along. This is Mike, how can I help you? I've answered the phone like that for twenty five years so habits are hard to break. Oh, hi GOD, I'd like to sit and talk for awhile, if that is OK with you? I think I would want to know how her day went and if anything special happened. What is the weather like where you are? Is there weather? Or are you everywhere at the same time so you have it all? What is your favorite color and why? Oh and what about how humans treat each other on this planet? Is there right or wrong and does it really matter in the end? Do you really judge us or are we just on our own? This is probably where I would sneak in the question of why my wife had to die. I am kind of hoping that the big questions would be distracting and that last one would be easy to answer. I'd want to know if I am doing the right things for my family and if I am really going to make it. I would want to know if he likes the bathroom tile I put in and whether he thinks I'll ever finish that project. I would ask whey we just can't see our loved ones that are on the other side, so we can know everything is great with them. Is it really necessary that humans mourn so much? As a long time manager I always look for the efficient short cut. Pain just seems so darn consuming. I would want to know whether we are going to destroy ourselves or whether as I believe there is always hope. I'd want to know how she feels about things and whether guidance is there if we are just willing to open ourselves up to it. What advice can you give me personally that will allow me to believe that you are listening? I know this is all about faith and I really don't expect answers. It does make you think though. What questions would you ask? Think of this as an exercise in Death of A Spouse 101. Go ahead and ask your questions. Treat it like a cathartic moment. You are in control for once. Oh, and by the way. I am thinking you might want to answer the phone next time it rings. You never know who is going to be on the other end.


CATHARSIS

I NEED A CATHARSIS MOMENT
A MIRACLE UNSEEN
SAVING ME FROM MYSELF
TO PROVE WHAT I ALREADY HAVE

I NEED TO KNOW THE PATH
IS REALLY IN FRONT OF ME
THAT OUR VENTURE IS REAL
LOOKING FOR THAT SPARK
TO LIGHT MY WAY

YOU HAVE GIVEN ME EVERYTHING I HAVE ASKED FOR
THEN WHY DOES MY EGO MAKE ME THINK IT IS NOT ENOUGH

A CATHARSIS MOMENT IS ONLY AS GOOD
AS THAT MOMENT IN TIME
NEVER REALLY SATISFYING THE NEED TO KNOW IT ALL

I NEED TO BE ACCEPTING
THAT YOU WILL GIVE ME WHAT IS REQUIRED
AND STOP QUESTIONING THE FOREVER NATURE OF MY EGO'S GRIEF